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  • Writer's picturegriefmattersuk

Things to Avoid Saying When Someone Is Grieving

When someone is grieving, it's important to be sensitive and supportive. Here are some things to avoid saying:

  • “I know how you feel." Everyone experiences grief differently, so it's not helpful to assume you know how the person is feeling.

  • “It's time to move on." Grief is a process that takes time, and everyone moves through it at their own pace.

  • “Everything happens for a reason." This can come across as dismissive and may not be helpful for someone who is struggling to make sense of their loss.

  • "You should be grateful for the time you had together." While it's important to focus on positive memories, it's also important to acknowledge the pain and sadness of the loss.

  • At least they're not suffering anymore." While this may be true, it can minimize the person's grief and the impact of the loss.

  • "Time heals" can also be an unwise thing to say to someone who is grieving because it takes a combination of time and actions to help in the healing process. While time can play a role, it's important to recognize that it's not just about the passage of time, but also about the actions taken during that time, such as seeking support, engaging in self-care, and finding healthy ways to cope.

  • “God needed them more.” comments that attribute the loss to the will of God or a higher power may not be helpful for someone who is struggling to make sense of their grief. Everyone processes grief differently, and it's important to offer support and empathy without trying to offer explanations or solutions for the person's pain

Instead of saying these things, offer a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. Let the person know that you're there for them and that you care. Offer practical help such as running errands, cooking meals, or taking care of their children or pets.



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